Finding Our Way, Part 1 of RhiannonDarren Trilogy
by WeMeow2
Summary: Rhi and Darren start married life together, but it's not as easy as either of them thought it would be. Sequel to Rhiannon Trilogy - Nothing Ever Happens, Something Is Happening, Anything Can Happen - would recommend reading those first so this makes more sense. Rated T for occasional sexual references and limited profanity
1. Therapy

Chapter 1: Therapy

"Why in the world did she keep THIS?" I asked out loud for at least the twentieth time as I unpacked yet another box that my mom had sent to California.

So far, among other childhood "treasures," I had unearthed several stuffed animals of unknown origins, a set of books about horses that I had received for my eighth birthday and never read, and a pile of barely-written-in notebooks left over from my unsuccessful attempts at starting a journal during high school. My craving for organization was at least partly a rebellion against my family's pack rat tendencies.

I had spent the week since we arrived in California weeding out our duplicate items. I was finally down to emptying the last few boxes that my mom had shipped directly from Pennsylvania after Darren and I had returned from Canada to pick up my...our cat Megan and traveled to his...our house across the country.

All of the stuff she sent was sorted into one of two piles: TOSS or DONATE. I figured there wouldn't be anything for the KEEP stack in the last box either until I recognized my own handwriting on the address label...in all the chaos of moving, I had completely forgotten about the box of wedding and honeymoon memorabilia that I had carefully packed myself to insure its safe arrival.

I settled on the couch, and lovingly began to remove each item, letting my mind wander back to one of the best times of my...our life...

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Despite my lack of dancing skills, I would have happily remained wrapped in my brand new husband's arms all night, swaying to Chris and Lea's beautiful rendition of "One Hand, One Heart." Darren had to nudge me out of my stupor so we could hug them after they finished. The DJ took over, playing a mixture of show tunes, oldies, and Glee songs that got everyone out on the dance floor.

After cutting the cake - with great restraint, Darren kept his promise not to smear icing on me - we retired to my room to change clothes for the short drive to a local B & B for our wedding night before heading out the next day on our honeymoon trip.

Thankfully everyone else was still enjoying the reception in my parents' barn, because we just couldn't seem to keep our hands - and lips - off each other.

"Dare, wait...oh, yes...right there...no, not here...in my...our room..." I gasped.

"But, Rhi, we're married now," Darren reasoned, as he continued to nibble on my neck.

"For which I am eternally grateful, but that doesn't mean that I want everyone to see us...consummate our marriage on my parents' stairs!" I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my...our room, slamming the door behind us, ready for...anything.

Suddenly, Darren went completely still. "Dare, are you okay?"

"Rhiannon, you make me so happy. I just can't believe that you're mine...forever," he breathed as tears formed in his gorgeous amber eyes.

"We're each others', Dare...forever," I replied, and moved in to cover his lips with a sweetly chaste kiss.

We separated, both smiling broadly, and Darren said firmly but with a grin in his voice, "Okay, Mrs. Criss, turn around so I can unzip this amazing dress, and we can move onto the consummation portion of the evening."

I giggled, doing as he asked. Needless to say, changing clothes took a lot longer than it should have with Darren and I "helping" each other, but I'm sure no one was surprised.

We finally emerged to find our guests milling about at the bottom of the stairs. I faked tossing a small bouquet of yellow roses and calla lilies a few times, then turned around after locating my target in the crowd. Everyone counted, "One! Two! Three!" and I let the flowers go, hoping they would land where I intended. The group burst into laughter, and I turned around to see my brother handing the bouquet to Mrs. Donovan with a scowl on his face. Score!

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Despite our having done so many times before, there was something different about the first time we made love that night. Somehow the knowledge that we were now legally and spiritually joined made our physical joining exponentially more affecting. Darren, still inside me, whispered, "You're MY something more, Rhiannon," and we both drifted off to sleep, literally as one.

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The next morning we had a late breakfast, then hit the road, motoring at a leisurely pace since we had all day to get to our destination. Darren knew that I wouldn't appreciate too many surprises, so together we had decided that we would stay at the same hotel on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls for the whole week. We both figured it would be easier to make day trips - on the days that we actually left our room - than to keep packing and moving from one place to another.

Initially, we might as well have been back in that nondescript motel in Toledo, since we didn't see the majestic wonder outside our window until several days into our stay. Once we did, my low thrill threshold kicked in, and I insisted that we ride "The Maid of the Mist" under the falls three times, much to Darren's delight.

It was a fabulous week of establishing our life as husband and wife - to ourselves, and everyone we met. Darren insisted on using our married names everywhere we went. He made dinner reservations under "Mr. and Mrs. Criss." He bought theater tickets using "Mr. and Mrs. Criss." I finally drew the line when he tried to order for "Mr. and Mrs. Criss" at a drive-thru fast food place!

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I was still chuckling about that when I felt someone kissing my neck. With a cheeky grin, I asked as I turned around, "Megan, is that you?"

Darren burst out laughing, replying, "If you're mistaking my kisses for our cat's, then I think we might want to use that certificate for marriage counseling that your brother gave us as a wedding present."

"I can think of more...personal therapy that would get us over the...hump, Mr. Criss."

"Tell me more, Mrs. Criss."

"Follow me to our bedroom, Mr. Criss. I'd rather show you."


	2. Blue or Green?

Chapter 2: Blue or Green?

Darren and I had reveled in our "honeymoon phase" since our arrival in LA. We enjoyed the liberation of not facing one or the other of us leaving in a few days or a few weeks, and our focus was each other.

Our main priority was exploring our even more profound and permanent connection, but we also worked on adapting to each others' daily routines now that we were sharing our living space. For example, I found out that Darren must have his first cup of coffee (and sometimes his second) before he felt able to prepare himself for the day. He discovered that I woke abruptly and started my morning routine almost immediately.

A pleasant division of labor developed without much negotiation - I took over the cooking and shopping, since I enjoyed both, and he was responsible for post-meal clean-up - not my favorite thing - insisting that he would live up to my high standards once I showed him how.

We divided up the rest of the household chores, although I often had to pick up Darren's slack. I knew he was trying, but of course, he didn't have a lifelong neatness obsession behind him. Worst of all was his odd tendency to leave his shoes wherever they landed when he came in the house, often times right in front of the door. For some reason, this became a focal point for me, and we had many "discussions" about it, with him always promising to stow them in the shoe rack I had purchased for the purpose, and me nodding encouragingly, knowing full well I would find them somewhere else the next day.

Taking Glee's cancellation as a sign, Darren had decided to focus on his music. At his request, his agent began setting up meetings with various producers in the hopes that one of them would be the right person to promote Darren's talent.

I spent my first days in LA sending out resumes, writing thank you notes for our wedding presents, keeping in touch with my family and friends, and working out a detailed plan for our upcoming renovation project.

Darren's house wasn't a mansion like the ones he had showed me in Beverly Hills, but it was certainly bigger than mine back in Madison. It had four bedrooms, one of which he had converted into an office and another into a professional quality music studio. The first floor was basically open with the living room, dining room, and kitchen all flowing into each other. The back door led to a fabulous porch overlooking the yard where I was just itching to start a garden.

Once I determined what we were keeping, with Darren's blessing I started combining his stuff and my stuff into our stuff. He told me to do whatever I wanted to the house to make myself happy. While I appreciated the sentiment, and the antique double-desk he had bought us as a wedding gift, I insisted that he share his input since we both needed to be content.

Mostly because he traveled a lot, but also because he didn't really care, Darren had left the place basically as it was after he moved in, giving him a really bland environment in which to live and work. Of course, ideas of how to personalize our home immediately started popping into my head, so I would ask for his opinions when I came up with something new.

Most of those conversations were variations on this one:

"But, Dare, it's your bedroom too...you must have a preference of which color you like better...the blue or the green?"

"Rhiannon, when we're in OUR bedroom, the color of the walls is the last thing on my mind," he replied, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

I blushed - how is it that he could still embarrass me after all the...intimacy we had shared? - but forged on.

"Darren, while I am thrilled that you find me more interesting than the decor, you still have to have an opinion..."

"My opinion is to let you choose, Rhi..."

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I finally took him at his word, and presented a complete portfolio to Darren, with him smiling in agreement at the changes I had decided on. Since my job search hadn't turned up anything yet, I assured Darren that as long as he didn't mind a slow and steady pace, that I could do the work myself. I had painted my whole house from the ceiling trim to the walls to the cabinets back in Wisconsin, so I had lots of practice.

The next day we visited a paint store so the last phase of our merge could get underway...


	3. Meeting the Neighbors

Chapter 3: Meeting the Neighbors

With all the organizing and planning I was doing, it didn't occur to me until a couple of weeks had passed that I hadn't seen more than a glimpse of any of my neighbors. Maybe in LA the established residents waited for the new folks to make the first move. Since I couldn't spend all my time painting and job hunting, I decided it was time to meet the people who lived around us and maybe start making some friends.

I baked a double batch of chocolate chip cookies - Darren swiped a couple along with a kiss on his way out the door to yet another meeting - and separated them into small containers as reverse welcome gifts.

Starting immediately next door, I was charmed by the elderly lady, Rita, that lived there. She was 80 if she was a day, but had been married four times, worshiped her four miniature poodles and did Zuumba four times a week! Regardless of her more modern lifestyle, it was a comfort that her demeanor reminded me of Mrs. Donovan. And, she knew all the neighborhood gossip.

Apparently Darren and I were trending right now, with people wondering where I had come from. Was I a Russian bride he had found online? Rita laughed hysterically when I told her that we had met in a book store in Wisconsin, assuring me that no one would believe that story, and I needed to come up with a jazzier version.

The other hot topic was the guy who lived by himself two doors on the other side of Darren and me. His name was Jeff Cotner, and a couple of weeks prior he had fallen off a ladder while cleaning his windows. According to Rita's "intel," Jeff had broken a leg and dislocated a shoulder, but was surviving on the take-out food that was seen being delivered nearly every day.

I immediately went into planning mode: How was he getting groceries? Was anyone checking on him? How did he get to the doctor? Rita assured me that Jeff's family was taking care of the essentials, but no one seemed to be visiting him just to keep him company. Thanking Rita for the information and assuring her that I would stop by again soon, I jogged to my house for another container of cookies and headed over to Jeff's place.

I rang the bell, and there were a few seconds of silence, followed by an unenthusiastic, "Door's open." Warily I turned the knob, and peeked inside to find a...complete and total nightmare. Pizza boxes, Chinese take-out containers, and empty pop cans littered the floor and furniture. All the windows were shut tight with the curtains drawn. A musty smell nearly overwhelmed me. I scanned the darkened room, finally spotting Jeff laying on the couch wearing a scruffy beard and pajamas that had seen better days, staring blankly at the football game on the television with the sound muted.

"Uh, hi, Jeff? I'm your new neighbor Rhiannon Criss? I just married and moved in with Darren two doors down?"

He laboriously scooted himself up into a sitting position and clunked his cast down on the coffee table, sending some of the garbage flying and making me cringe.

He chuckled. "Not used to visiting the hospital ward?"

Without thinking, I responded, "Not used to visiting the garbage dump." I slapped my hand over my mouth after I realized what I said, but Jeff burst out laughing.

"At last, a teller of truths! Who did you say you married?"

"Darren Criss. We live two doors down, next to Rita?" I replied, unable to stop myself from contemplating the detritus.

"Darren is a lucky man, Rhiannon. I'd offer you a seat, but as you can see..."

"Jeff, this might be presumptuous of me, considering that we just met, but can I...straighten up a little in here? I'm sure you'd feel better if you weren't surrounded by all this..."

"Why should I let you clean my house, Rhiannon?"

"Because, Jeff, I'm going to give you these home-made cookies to eat while I do."

"What kind are they?"

"Chocolate chip."

"Deal!" he said, perking up for the first time since I'd walked in.

Before he changed his mind, I asked, "Where do you keep your garbage bags?"

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It turned out that Jeff's humorous personality was merely hidden by a grumpy facade due to being confined to his house without the mobility to really do anything. During my cleaning session, I learned that he worked at a local college, teaching, of all things, educational theory. He actually seemed interested when I told him that I would bring lunch the next day in exchange for the tips about the local job market he offered. Before I left, I cracked the windows to let in some fresh air, excited at the prospect of having a colleague - and maybe a friend - of my own!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Darren got home, I was finishing the last of the thank you notes while preparing our dinner. I looked up at him with a welcoming smile and opened my mouth to tell him about my day, but my husband leaned down and gave me a fierce kiss, literally taking my breath away. As soon as I could manage, I gasped, "What was that for, Mr. Criss?"

"Mrs. Criss, your husband is about to secure gainful employment!"

"Dare, that's great! Did you find a producer you like?"

"Not just a producer, but a recording label that wants to sign...YOURS TRULY!"

I jumped up, throwing my arms around him and almost knocking him over, "OH MY GOD, Dare! That's amazing! Tell me everything!"

He twirled me around, about to give me all the details, when he stopped abruptly. "Wait, Rhi. You were going to tell me something."

"Oh, Dare, it's not important like your news...you go."

Taking my hand and leading me back to sit on the stools at the kitchen counter, he said seriously, "Rhi, everything that is important to you is important to me. My news isn't going anywhere. Now, what were you going to tell me?"

This man of mine was really amazing. "Well, Dare, I met a couple of our neighbors today."

"Great...who?"

"Rita next door was first."

Darren started laughing, "Yeah, Rita's a trip! Did she share her 'intel' with you?"

I laughed too. "She sure did, including the speculation that you imported me from overseas after finding me on the internet."

Darren's eyes nearly popped out of his head. "What?"

"Rita assured me that she would spread the truth, although she thought something more exciting than the 'bookstore in Wisconsin' story is warranted. I also met Jeff two doors down. Did you know that he's got a broken leg and a messed up shoulder? I cleaned for him a bit..." I trailed off as Darren smiled and shook his head at me.

"Of course you did, Rhi. I would be disappointed if you didn't. I don't really know much about him except he seems to always be on his way somewhere."

"Get this, Dare. He's an educational theory instructor! And I'm taking him lunch tomorrow. He seems like a really nice guy, except, of course, he's not in the best mood right now because of being hurt."

Darren hugged me, "That's great, Rhi! Do you think he might have some leads for you?"

"He offered to put out some feelers after we talk tomorrow and he has a clearer idea of what I'm interested in...I feel so much better, Dare. I'm tired of being a...parasite. I'm not contributing much to our..."

Darren silenced me with a heartfelt kiss. "Rhi! You know that's not true! We're both contributing, just in different ways."

"I know you're right, Dare. I guess I'm still...adjusting." Then I gave him a wide grin, and said, "Now tell me about the record deal!"

"Well...you know Mark, my agent? He got it right on with this one..."


	4. A Swift Kick

Chapter 4: A Swift Kick

I was so excited about the prospect of talking with Jeff that I woke up even earlier than usual. Darren wandered in for his first cup of coffee as I was putting the finishing touches on my famous brownies before sliding them into the oven.

Knowing that I should wait for him to start a conversation, I gave him a quick kiss before gathering the ingredients for the pasta salad and crab dip I had decided to make for lunch. Darren finally half-smiled at me, and asked, "Do I have to break a limb for you to make a special lunch for me?"

"Of course not, silly. Will you be home at lunch time? You could join us..."

"I'm kidding, Rhi. I've actually got a lunch meeting with my lawyer and the head of the new label to discuss my deal, but I would just be in the way regardless. You and Jeff will be talking about all sorts of educational...stuff that would zoom over my head."

"Dare..." I started, walking over to lean into my husband. "You know you enjoyed my classes you came to that time." I looked more closely at him, trying to gauge his real feelings. "Are you okay with this? I could just drop the food off and tell him that something's come up..."

"Rhi...I am more than okay with this. You've got a great chance to make a connection, both personal and professional. I don't expect you to sit at home and wait for me to turn up with great tales of my triumphs. We both need to find our way and this is an excellent start for you." He matched his lips to mine for a lingering kiss that tasted of coffee and...Darren. Pulling away, he said, "Give Jeff my best, and tell him when he's up for a little more activity that we should all do something together...Rita too. It will be Mr. and Mrs. Criss' first party!"

"Oh, you! Maybe I'll keep using Harris, just so you'll have to stop obsessing about 'Mr. and Mrs. Criss!' Now go get ready for your meeting...I'll leave some brownies for you for later...even without a broken bone!"

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Jeff and I really got along...not only did our senses of humor mesh, we had a lot of the same ideas about educating kids. Amazingly, his research focus was the socialization of gifted children, something I was desperate to get into. He knew many educators specializing in that area of the field, so he helped me tweak my resume, and suggested particular schools to send it to.

As the days passed, I snuck leftovers into his fridge, so he wouldn't be eating fast food all the time, and I supplemented his groceries with fresh produce when I went shopping for Darren and me. I'm sure he would have recuperated just fine without my help, but he seemed in better spirits both because of the company and because he didn't have to struggle so much. He gave up the gross PJs for shorts with t-shirts, but decided to let his beard grow since it was too hard to shave with just one hand.

Within a couple of weeks, he didn't have to wear the sling any more, so while I did stuff like taking out the garbage, he was able to keep up with basic cleaning. Between the two of us, his house never got anywhere close to as bad as the day we met, which I took great joy in ribbing him about. I even wrote "Beware the Garbage Grump!" on his cast, which made us both smile whenever we looked at it.

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Darren was initially so excited about his record deal and working with producers who really got what he was trying to say with his music. He would come home with funny stories of technical difficulties or challenging bits of lyrics that he was trying to work out. I was happy for him, and I was also proud that I had interesting things to report from my conversations with Jeff.

About a month after I had barged into Jeff's life, I had a hard time hiding my growing distress. After dinner, I was helping Darren with the dishes when he took the pan I was drying from me and laid it on the counter.

"Dare? What are you doing?" I blurted, startled out of my funk.

"Rhiannon...that pan was dry about five minutes ago. When you didn't even blink after I told you that I wrote a love song for your brother, I figured out that you're upset about something."

"Oh, Darren, I'm sorry...it didn't occur to me that this was going to bother me so much..."

"What, Rhi?"

"Jeff gets a walking cast tomorrow, then he starts back to school on Monday."

Darren looked confused. "That's great! Isn't it?"

"I won't be able to talk to him every day! I can only clean and redecorate around here so much...and I'll be back to sitting around waiting for you...and I still haven't gotten an interview, let alone a job...and you're working hard and earning money for us...and..."

Darren broke in. "Sweetie...shhh...come on now, hold on a second. Take a deep breath, honey." He reached out to rub away the tears I hadn't realized I was shedding.

I lowered my head, too ashamed to meet his gaze. "Oh, Dare, I'm no good at this...being married."

"Rhiannon, look at me. You are very good at being married. You are positive and honest and supportive. You take care of a lot of the stuff around our house, including some of the things that I'm supposed to be doing."

"You're so busy, Dare..."

"I'm not that busy, Rhi. We both know that I've let things slide, and I know that it bugs you when I forget to put my shoes away..." he finished with a wink.

"Darren, truthfully, the shoes are the only thing that really bother me. And I know it's a hard habit that you're trying to break. I just don't want to become...a 1950s housewife with nothing of my own. After Jeff told me he was going back to work, it dawned on me that I had just compounded my waiting for you with waiting for him. I don't have anything that's mine, and it's starting to get to me."

"Rhi, you do have things of your own...you're working miracles with the house. You've made friends in the neighborhood. You helped a complete stranger through a difficult time. You've papered the area with resumes. Just because you aren't heading off to work somewhere else every day doesn't mean you aren't accomplishing things. And it won't be long before people are lining up at the door to hire you. I know it's hard, but you just have to be patient."

"Darren...how do you always know what I need? Whether it's a pep talk or a swift kick...or both?" I said with a smile.

"Because, Rhi, you'd do the same for me if I needed it."

"I would do anything for you, Dare."

"Anything?" Darren asked with one of his sly grins. "Perhaps a therapy session is in order, Mrs. Criss?"


	5. Shoes in the Doorway

Chapter 5: Shoes in the Doorway

From that point on, I made more of an effort to concentrate on Darren. After all, he was adjusting as well, to being married, to living with someone, to his expanding music career. I finally realized that it was easy to focus on Jeff because he needed assistance in obvious ways. Just because Darren hadn't been specifically asking for help didn't mean he didn't need it.

After Jeff returned to his job, I spent my days working on the house, trolling the internet for job listings, making special treats for my husband, visiting with Rita, keeping in touch with my family and Mrs. Donovan, and hanging with Megan, who was now the sweetest creature on the East AND West Coasts. Occasionally I would drop in on Jeff after his classes, just to chat and make sure he was still eating decently.

In the evenings, Darren and I would share the day's happenings. At first I thought I was imagining my husband's reticence to update me about his work, but after a couple of weeks, I finally asked him point blank, "Dare, is everything okay at the studio?"

Looking startled, he replied, "What?"

"At first after you signed the contract, you were always so excited when you came home, practically bursting to tell me what had happened that day. Now, I have to drag what's going on out of you, and even then, it's mostly one sentence answers."

"Oh, Rhi. I thought I was hiding it better... I am a professional actor, you know," he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"Darren...don't try to deflect. What's up?"

His shoulders drooped as he sighed, "Don't get me wrong, Rhi, the record deal is great and the people at the label are the best. It's just...there's so much pressure! I'm used to relaxing in my studio upstairs noodling around with melodies and lyrics when the mood strikes. Now I've got to produce twelve songs that I can stand behind but are 'marketable.' If I hear that word one more time...I swear I'll scream!" he nearly shouted with his fists clenched.

I immediately moved in to wrap my arms around my husband, hoping to absorb some of his turmoil. "Darren, why didn't you say anything? Here, I've been whining about my pathetic tales of woe, and you're feeling this...anger. I didn't know you got angry, Dare," I kidded him just a bit, hoping to get him to smile.

And, he did. "Oh trust me, Rhi, I get angry. Just ask Chuck how he ended up locked in a closet for three hours when we were teenagers," he replied, shaking his head at the memory.

"Is there anything I can do to help, Dare?"

"Well, Rhi, now that you mention it..."

"Tell me, Dare..."

"I'm embarrassed asking this, but...Rhi, do we have to talk about Jeff so much?"

I felt like I had been slapped. "What...what do you mean, Darren?"

"I completely understand that when he was laid up you spent a lot of time over there, so you talked about him a lot, but I feel like that's still all I ever hear from you any more. I know it's juvenile, but it seems like you talk more about him than you do about us. And, I know there is nothing for me to worry about, but you've got so much in common with him, so many things that interest both of you, and I guess I've been...jealous," he admitted in a whisper.

I stared wide-eyed at my husband. "Dare, you know that I would NEVER do anything..."

"Rhi, I know you wouldn't, but with all the stress at the studio, and then hearing about this guy that excites you...intellectually...I'm just having a hard time...dealing with it all..."

"Dare, I completely understand, and I apologize. If I had known it was bothering you so much...you know we've just been helping each other, right?"

"I know, Rhi...I know..." and we hugged each other as Darren declared, "I love you so much, Rhiannon.

"I love you more, Dare," I responded earnestly, rubbing his back to comfort him. I was glad he couldn't see the concern on my face. I was totally taken aback by my husband's request. Was this really settled?

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Several days later, I hurried home in the middle of the afternoon, practically vibrating with excitement. I couldn't wait to tell Darren my amazing news! I was puzzled, though, as I pulled into the driveway, since his car was parked in his usual spot. I thought he was supposed to be at the studio until close to dinner time...

I hefted all of the grocery bags out of the back seat in order to make only one trip and practically skipped up to the house.

"Darren?" I called out as I opened the door. "Are you HEEEEEEEERRRRRE?" I screamed as I fell over something in the doorway.

I went flying and so did the groceries, all of us landing in a succession of thuds and crashes. I laid on the floor in shock for a few seconds, trying to determine if I was hurt and what had happened. As I cautiously sat up and put my hand out for support, I felt...DARREN'S SHOE in my hand! OH! MY! GOD!

Darren came barreling down the stairs, yelling, "Rhi? Rhi? Are you okay? What hap..." He trailed off when he saw the aftermath of my accident and what I was holding in my hand. Then I went ballistic.

"HOLY SHIT, DARREN! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I ASKED YOU TO PUT YOUR FUCKING SHOES AWAY? IS IT SO HARD FOR A GROWN MAN TO DO SOMETHING SO DAMN SIMPLE? LOOK AT THIS MESS! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE ANYONE CAN BE SUCH AN IDIOT!"

I stopped shrieking at him, basically because I had run out of oxygen. But, when I looked Darren in the eye, I realized that he had hurtled past concerned to pissed.

In a frighteningly calm voice, he said, "Rhiannon. I'm very sorry for what happened, but there's no need to swear at me and call me names. Let me help you up and we can discuss..."

Having caught my breath, I continued my tirade. "I'M NOT DISCUSSING ANYTHING WITH YOU! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I DO EVERY DAY AND YOU CAN'T MANAGE TO DO SOMETHING A PRESCHOOLER COULD? AM I SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, DARREN? A DAMN DONNA REED WHO CLEANS UP AFTER YOU?"

Unfortunately, Darren responded in kind. "IF YOU WANT TO GO THERE, RHIANNON, WE CAN TALK ABOUT PEOPLE NOT DOING WHAT THEY'RE ASKED! I'VE ASKED YOU NOT TO BRING UP SAINT JEFF'S NAME SO MUCH, BUT ALL I HEAR IS JEFF THIS AND JEFF THAT! SHOULD I BE WORRIED THAT THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN YOU TWO?"

I was shocked into silence. When I recovered, I said quietly, "I can't do this any more, Darren." I struggled to stand up on my own.

He asked in a shaky voice, "Do what?"

"Be married." And I walked out the front door, closing it gently behind me.


	6. Making Up Is Hard to Do

Chapter 6: Making Up is Hard to Do

Darren stared at the door. What in the hell just happened? He sank down into the mess and began to sob uncontrollably. What had he done? Why DIDN'T he put his damn shoes away? How hard WAS that? Rhi had asked him at least fifty times, pointing out the neatness and safety issues, but had he listened? NO...he was so distracted by the album that he had almost killed his wife, and then driven her out of the house, and maybe out of their marriage.

That thought brought him up short. Rhi would be back. He knew it. And she would want everything tidy when she returned, so Darren quickly sorted through the bags, throwing away what was ruined and storing what was salvageable, according to Rhi's system.

By the time he finished mopping the floor, there was still no sign of Rhi. Suddenly the thought occurred to him that she had nowhere to go except...Jeff's. Without considering the wisdom of his actions, he stomped down the street and pounded on Jeff's door. He could hear his neighbor clumping in his walking cast to open it with a surprised smile.

"Darren, right? I would know you anywhere, as much as Rhi talks about..." He trailed off when he realized Darren was less than thrilled to see him.

Tersely, Darren said, "I need to talk to Rhi."

Jeff now looked genuinely confused. "Why would she be here? She's always at home when you are..."

Darren's anger turned to worry and he started to babble. "We...argued...and she left...and I don't know where she is...this is the only place I could think...she talks about you so much..."

Jeff replied with a knowing smile, "First fight?"

"Since we've been married."

"You both said nasty things, right? Things you couldn't believe were coming out of your mouths?"

Darren gaped at his neighbor. "How could you possibly know..."

"Happens to everyone, man. Did you check at Rita's? Rhi is over there almost every day. Says she reminds her of someone back in Madison? Mrs. Donaldson?"

"Mrs. Donovan? Oh my god, I AM an idiot!" Darren started to head toward the sidewalk before turning back to Jeff. "Thanks so much! You're officially invited to dinner!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Darren approached Rita's house slowly, knocking with great apprehension. Straining to see past the elderly woman, he spied Rhi hunched over on the couch, her shoulders shaking, obviously crying her eyes out. Darren started toward his wife, but before she noticed him, Rita pulled him into the kitchen, and gave him the scolding he knew he deserved.

"What do you have to say for yourself, mister? That wonderful girl has been trying so hard to fit in. She's a fish out of water here, but she's been making friends, and looking for work because she wants you to be proud of her. Do you know what she had planned for tonight? She was preparing a big celebration dinner because she finally got an interview at a school and she wanted to surprise you with her news."

Darren blurted, "I had no idea...she never said..."

"Of course she didn't. That's why it's called a surprise!"

"But she was spending so much time with Jeff!" he whined in his own defense.

"He was helping her get a job! And besides, genius, he's GAY!"

I stopped in the kitchen doorway just as Rita shared this revelation with Darren, and the look on his face was priceless, causing me to spontaneously snort through my tears.

When he realized I was there, his startled expression morphed into the saddest face I had ever seen, and he desperately begged, "Rhi, I know I don't deserve it, but please come home with me, so we can work this out?"

Rita nudged him, so he continued, "And I can apologize...in private?"

I hugged Rita, taking the trembling hand that Darren held out to me, and we walked back to our house together.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Darren opened our front door, I was surprised that the groceries weren't still  
scattered everywhere. "You cleaned..."

"Rhiannon, I am SO SORRY for this whole thing. It was ALL MY FAULT! Please forgive..."

"Wait, Dare...let's sit down a minute. I've got some things to say."

We sat down on his...our couch, the couch where we had first declared our love for each other. Darren held my hands, and all I could think was, Don't screw this up, Rhiannon!

"Darren, this wasn't all your fault. The shoes were your fault. Bringing Jeff into it was your fault. But I shouldn't have screamed at you like that. We obviously need to learn how to have an argument without fighting dirty. I didn't admit to myself how stressed out I've been until I went postal on you. I know that you didn't leave your shoes out to hurt me or ruin the groceries purposely, so there was no reason for me to...say what I said the way I did."

"Yes, Rhi, there was. The screaming and cursing I could do without, but the basics of what you said were right. I was being a childish idiot. It takes five seconds to put my shoes away, more than worth the effort considering that I could have really hurt you. Trust me, that will never happen again. And..."

"And..."

"And we need to fight about what we're fighting about. Not only should I have not brought Jeff up, I know that there is nothing to my concerns about him. I let things pile up and didn't deal with them, and unfortunately, ended up throwing something irrational in your face. I was completely out of line. I should have seen that you were looking for something to make you feel at home. Jeff is comforting because you can discuss things you know a lot about. Rita is comforting because, although she is very...unique, she reminds you of Mrs. Donovan. I can't tell you how sorry I am, Rhiannon."

"I know, Dare. I'm sorry too for how I handled everything...but mostly I'm sorry for leaving. I should have stayed and..."

"Rhi, you removed yourself from an...untenable situation. There's nothing wrong with that. Just..."

"What, Dare?" I stroked his cheek, baffled that I had seriously thought walking out on him was my best option.

"No matter what happens, please don't ever say you don't want to be married anymore. I'm not sure I could take that. We're going to have more fights...no, not fights...arguments, but nothing could ever happen that would be enough for us to break up."

"I promise I'll stay no matter what, Dare. I'll stay and fight...for us," I finished with a small smile.

"So, where does this leave things, Rhi? Can we start over?"

"No, Dare."

Darren looked stunned.

"We don't need to start over because we never stopped. We both learned a few things so now we move on, incorporating them into our relationship."

We moved toward each other to share a healing kiss. When we separated, Darren looked thoughtful as he pulled me into his arms so we could cuddle as closely as possible.

"Rhiannon...remember at our wedding when I promised your dad that we would take care of each other?"

I nodded.

"We need to remind each other of that every day."

"Forever, Dare. Starting right now."


	7. The First Day of School

Chapter 7: The First Day of School

While we had an intense "therapy session" to seal our reconciliation, for the next few days Darren and I tiptoed around each other a bit. Our discomfort was gradually eradicated by the conversations we had to pinpoint how events had escalated and how we would prevent that from happening in the future. We even discussed the possibility of using that counseling certificate my brother had given us, but decided that we could get through this situation on our own...together.

Darren ALWAYS put his shoes away from that point forward, and I invited Jeff and Rita over for dinner several times, mainly so that the two guys could get to know each other. It turned out that Jeff adored those Harry Potter videos that Darren had made in college, so they had a conversational starting point while Rita and I swapped "intel" about the neighborhood.

It was a tie as to who was more nervous about my interview: me or Darren. Over the next few days, I got some invaluable coaching from Jeff about local issues to bone up on, and Rita helped me choose a casual but professional outfit suitable for the big event. And, of course, my husband insisted on staying home so he could give me last minute support before I left and hear all about it when I got back.

It felt like I had really gelled with the school's director, but I wouldn't know for sure until she contacted me some time later as she told me she would. The night of the interview all nine of us were at the Criss abode munching on our dinner (pizza for the humans, tuna for Megan, and Mighty Dog for Rita's poodles), when my cell phone rang. I checked the caller ID, and mouthed, "It's her." Silence fell over the table, and I pushed the answer button.

"Yes, this is Rhiannon Criss. Hi, Kathleen! Did you get my email? I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself, too...yes...I can definitely start then..." I walked upstairs with a huge smile on my face, flashing a thumbs up to the group. As I closed the door to our bedroom, I could hear my family and friends cheering and clapping...and meowing and barking.

After our conversation ended, I hung up the phone and just sat on the edge of our bed sporting a dopey smile. I turned after hearing the door open and Darren was wearing a matching grin. He sat next to me, taking my hand in his. Kissing my fingers, he said, "Rita and Jeff send their love and congratulations. They thought we might want to celebrate...just us. They both said you should call them tomorrow."

I nodded slowly, moving to face my husband more directly. "Dare," I whispered. "I got a job. I got THE job. I got MY job."

He held my face between his hands and kissed me long and hard. "I knew it would just take time, Rhi. You are going to be such a great assistant director. They are going to wonder how they managed before you. And those kids will be thankful for the rest of their lives that someone who understands them was on their side."

"Darren...you always know just what to say. This is...huge for me. Not only will I finally be contributing to our life financially..." Darren frowned and tried to interrupt.

"I know, Dare, I was contributing, but this is different. This is what I was meant to do, and someone believes in me enough to want me to do it professionally. We'll have to work out a chore schedule, and I'll have to figure out how long it takes to get there in the mornings, and whether I should take my lunch and..."

Darren put that finger up to my lips to interrupt planning mode before it really got going. "Rhi, when do you start?"

"Three weeks from today. Right before the semester break."

"Then you have plenty of time to plan. Tonight I want to celebrate your well-deserved accomplishment however you want."

"How about however WE want, Dare? Care to join me in a bit of therapy?"

"You bet, Assistant Director Criss," Darren replied with a broad smile and he kissed me until my lips parted in silent invitation for whatever came next.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

For the next several weeks, I did even more research on my new employer, and read everything I could get my hands on about gifted schools. Rita invited us over for Thanksgiving, which we ate on her back deck. I was pretty sure I would never get used to the lack of seasons in California, but it was surprisingly enjoyable to eat turkey and pumpkin pie wearing summer clothes.

Of course, I called my parents and Mrs. Donovan often to keep them updated on our life. My former landlady commented on how happy I sounded, "Your young man must be treating you well, Rhiannon." I assured her that he was, not mentioning our fight, since we had put it behind us.

The timing was a little odd, but I was starting my job two weeks before Christmas break. My predecessor was retiring with her husband to Oregon over the holidays, but she had agreed to stay until the end of the semester to help me get settled. I would be on my own come the new year.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I woke up before my alarm on my first day of work - no surprise - but, big surprise, Darren was already up and puttering around in the kitchen. Also, no surprise, I was nauseated. In my head I knew I would be great at this job, but my stomach hadn't gotten the memo. I trudged downstairs to see if something light would settle things, and found Darren scrambling eggs.

"I heard you moving around up there, and I want to send you off to school with a good breakfast, so..."

"Oh, Darren, that's so sweet, but I just want some toast. I'm feeling a little sick."

A look of concern swept across Darren's face. "That's perfectly normal, sweetie. This is a big day. Let me get you some apple juice too."

Darren made my breakfast, and then pulled something from the refrigerator and hid it behind his back while I chewed like a cow ruminating on its cud.

"Rhi, I wanted to commemorate your first day, so I got you this..." and he presented me with a lunch box decorated with the characters from "Cats in Boxes"!

"Oh my god, Dare! Where did you get this? I've never seen..."

"There's a website where you can get anything imprinted with anything. I know that doubts will creep into your mind at some point, but we both know that you're perfect for this, so I wanted to remind you of your supernatural skills...and that I'm incredibly proud of you."

"What would I do without you behind me, Dare?"

"Behind you, beside you, anywhere you want me, and you'll never have to find out." He gave me a peck and asked, "Feeling better? Did the toast help?"

"It did...I'm going to go get ready and make sure I've packed everything I need for today. I know that I checked last night, but..."

"That's one of the things I love about you, Rhi," Darren assured me with another kiss. "Now go...you don't want to be late."


	8. Unplanned Fireworks

Chapter 8: Unplanned Fireworks

Everything was as perfect as I could imagine...with one exception.

My new co-workers were welcoming and supportive. They complimented my enthusiasm and encouraged my ideas. I couldn't wait to confer with them about general school issues as well as particular students each day.

And the kids were great. We taught kindergarten, first, and second grades and they were all so excited to learn. The faculty encouraged the students to follow their own interests, and there were weekly sessions on etiquette and social skills, which I would be in charge of organizing. I was thrilled to give the kids the opportunity to interact with each other in positive ways like I hadn't had when I was their age.

Darren had turned a corner after I suggested he do some of his more creative work in his own studio. His label had no problem with that, especially when he started producing more than enough fabulous - and "marketable" - songs for his album.

Jeff and Darren and I had dinner together once a week or so, followed by playing games, watching videos, or just talking about our lives. Sometimes Rita joined us, and sometimes I went over to her house in the afternoon for some girl talk.

The only problem was this lingering nausea that snuck up on me overnight. It always passed by lunch time, but Darren was starting to worry that something was really wrong. I chalked it up to stress, although I hadn't ever really had this type of physical reaction to tension before.

I mentioned my problem and Darren's concern to Rita a couple of weeks after I started my job, and she burst out laughing. "Oh, Rhi...for such a smart girl..."

"What are you talking about, Rita?"

"You're pregnant, Rhiannon!"

I was shocked into speechlessness. My mind starting calculating, and I realized that Rita could be right! I hadn't thought much about how long it had been since my period as I had never been completely regular. And, because I had had a bad reaction to birth control pills in college, my new doctor agreed that Darren and I should continue using condoms, which we had without fail...except... The one and only time we had forgotten was after we made up on the night of our big fight.

"Oh my god, Rita...we haven't planned for this...I mean, some day, but not now..."

"Dear, most babies aren't planned for, but they come all the same, bringing joy and hope with them. Do you want me to walk you home so you can tell Darren?"

I stood up and hugged Rita, and said, "No, I'm okay."

She guided me to her door. "After you tell him, call your doctor immediately to get an appointment as soon as you can. You could take one of those drugstore tests, but I wouldn't trust it."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I walked in a daze the few steps to our house and rang the doorbell. Darren opened it, smiling quizzically when he saw it was me. "Forget your key, Mrs. Criss?"

"No, but we forgot something else."

"Rhi, are you okay? Come sit down." He led me to the couch and held my hands. "What's wrong, Rhiannon? Are you feeling sick again? We need to get you to the doctor."

"Yes, we do, Darren, but not for the reason you think. I was just telling Rita about my symptoms, and she pointed something out to me."

"You're scaring me, Rhi. What did Rita say?"

I whispered, "I think I'm pregnant."

Darren leaned closer to me. "What, Rhi? It sounded like you said...oh...my...god! You've been sick every morning and..."

After a minute, Darren got a goofy smile on his face. "Rhi, the only time we didn't use a condom is when we..." he started...

"...made love after our fight..." I finished. "I can't believe this, Darren. We don't have a plan, I just got this job..."

"Rhi, the best thing that ever happened to me wasn't planned...YOU! And this will be just as fabulous. Thank goodness we found you a doctor when you moved out here. Do you want me to call?"

"Darren, right now, while it's still just us, I want you to know that you are more than I could have ever hoped for as my husband. And I know you'll be a great father."

"And you'll be an excellent mother, Rhi...with or without a plan," he replied with his adorable grin as he reached for my cell phone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Darren and I were holding hands in the doctor's office, waiting for her to return with the test results.

Dr. Dochios came in with a file folder in her hand and a smile on her face. "Mr. and Mrs. Criss..."

Darren and I grinned at each other.

"You are definitely pregnant. We'll be able to fine tune this in about six weeks when we take a look at the fetus, but based on the timing of your last cycle and the likelihood of when you conceived, I'm estimating a July 4th due date."

"Our new favorite holiday, Rhi!" Darren exclaimed with a huge smile before leaning over so we could make our own fireworks, sharing our first kiss as confirmed parents-to-be.

No way is this THE END!


End file.
